Gangrim’s Last Will & Testament
Well I don’t see this as being necessary but my lawyers insist, now that I’m a lord that I make a will in the case that life ceases within me. The thing is that the Grim’s kind of worshipped an old dwarven God of death and that means we can’t be reincarnated because of some pact we did, way back, that infects the blood or some such. In any case I don’t believe in this stuff but I’ll write something down it’s not like I’m as dumb as the rest of my clan who died out because of their love for aquatic beasts.
Firstly in regards for my body and possessions:
My remains are to be buried in the crypt under my keep and then to be enchanted by the circle of mages I created (all possible sorts of nasty stuff you guys can think of would be great) so that there will be no grave robbery.
Possessions are to be cursed to cripple the user by reducing all attributes to zero while holding the weapon or wearing my armour.
My crypt is to be heavily defended by complex puzzles, magical traps, mythical creatures and my pet snuffles (though he may die with me).
Now onto my lands, wealth & Independent organisations:
My lands will be handed over to the Earl of Ashridge in hopes that he can lead the region to stability in these troubling times. All forces are to be incorporated into the existing armies of the Earl with the goal to defend our lands as a whole.
The great forge will continue its work with funding from the “Grim Times” foundation which will receive all of my worldly wealth. This also applies to those who study at the circle of magi they are free to remain and study but will now be under the observation of the arcane university in Ashridge and subject to their rules and regulations.
The specialist combat units such as the APU core and The Grim Reaper Rangers are free to become Mercenary units or adventuring bands and are not bound to defend Ashridge or its neighbours, you are free men not of this land and do not need to subjugate yourselves to it. However this place has been good to me over the last few years and I feel I have made a difference in the lives of many, particularly the poor. And if you can see that place has the potential to change good men into the great, like many before me, defend it, so that others may have at least the opportunity.
You know who you are, be good if you can’t be that, be decent, if not that be frugal and if you can’t please refer to section below.
Kill those who are too evil, not petty evil, just when people take it too far don’t be afraid to just go nuts.
Lastly if I am the last Grim to die and it happens in a tomb of my people, you know that curse I told you about earlier? Well there is a good chance I’ll be reborn as an evil elder God, but what’s the chances of that happening?
Signed Lord Gangrim Flameheart, The Troll Hunter, The Dragon Slayer, King of Beasts, Defender of the People, Defender of Ashridge Port, Saviour of Travellers on the road, Hero of Ashridge, Victor of the battle of Awesome: 1 Midnight Kingdom: nil, Lover of Small Animals, two times Pub Crawl Champion and leader of associated clubs, loving father of three, captain of the “Almost At Retirement”.
PS Jimble is not to get anything of mine, EVER, he’s the type of guy to piss on your ancestors, he will not get anything. In fact my entire military might is herby ordered on my death to annililate his esistance if he takes a single copper.
PPS If Mc’Cloud ever comes back from that portal tell him I said hi.